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7. Many universities offer a large number of scholarships as an incentive to attract outstanding students to enroll in their schools.
評析：贅字多：many/ a large number of 意義重覆；scholarship/ incentive/ attract 也意義重覆。此外，句尾的 their 在結構上是代替主詞 universities，但若把 universities 代入 their 的位置，就成了錯誤的 in (the) universities’ school，所以這個代名詞是誤用。
我猜測文中所提到的獎學金是「入學就給」而不是「課業優良」才給，因為「課業優良給獎學金」是一般大學的常態，沒什麼值得提的。但這句英文並未表達「入學就給」的意思。修改後成為
“To attract outstanding students, many universities grant scholarships to those who are willing to enroll.”
表達同樣的意思，素淨的修改句與華而不實的中式英文原句，是否也無意間反映了台灣的政經、社會現況呢？
8. Since Diana is such an eloquent speaker, she has won several medals for her school in national speech contests.
評析：such 被用在描述因果關係時，一般都會用 such…that…句法。例如
“Sherry made #such a big mistake（原因）#that the boss is thinking of firing her（直接結果）。”
此題的兩子句之間毫無疑問是因果關係，但作者卻不用 such…that…，而採用 such 另一種「描述事實」的用法，例如
“If you’re #such a great singer, why did you fail the audition for American Idol?（兩子句無因果關係）”
嚴格說，兩種用法中的 such 意義是不一樣的，不應混用。
此外，medal「獎牌」不適用於演講比賽（多用prize）。修改後成為
Diana is such an eloquent speaker that she has won several prizes for her school in national speech contests.
