莫平的英文私塾

Once upon a time, there was a Mandopop diva who loved English and even majored in English in college. Her biggest wish, according to various press interviews, was to head an English school. In building the image of an English aficionado, she not only spoke Mandarin with a strong American accent but also got herself a boyfriend who was half Kiwi, half Merlion and could hardly speak Chinese. In actuality, unfortunately, she dared not speak English during interviews and made a big boo-boo in her first English-learning book, which was as ill-fated as her love affair with another Mandopop megastar who looked like a baboon. After being humiliated by some English teachers who actually knew English (some others who didn't rooted for her), she felt frustrated and turned to focus on her main career as a dancer, gymnast and – oh, yes – a singer. Here’s the monumental boo-boo that sank the diva’s second career.

“「劈腿」的英文是 have/has the third person（有了第三者）”

評論：「劈腿」的相關英文很簡單，就是two-timing（形容詞「劈腿的」，如 You two-timing bastard!）

或 two-timer（名詞「劈腿者」，如 John’s a two-timer.），動詞 two-time 則很少用。至於為何中文用「劈腿」，其實是衍生自較早的「腳踏兩條船」說法。當你腳踏兩條船的時候，那姿勢不就像是在「劈腿」嗎？

＊注意：這裡講的中文「劈腿」與英文 two-time 大多用於未婚關係，已婚關係則有其他常用說法，例如 have an affair。近年來流行的「小三」（女性）則是 mistress（較正式）或是 the other woman。

以下新聞段落來自 2005 年三月一日的 TVBS 晚間新聞（摘錄自 TVBS 網頁）：

“歌手蔡依林︰「劈腿，has the third person，has the third person。」

補習班名師徐薇︰「there is a third person in our relationship，意思是說我們的關係有了第三者。這是傳統的講法，可是現在比較時髦，年輕人的說法其實很喜歡說他是一個到處玩耍的人he is a palyer。」事實上，「劈腿」可不是年輕人的專利，堪稱英文達人的前駐美代表陳錫藩，教你美國正統的劈腿怎麼說。老前輩的說法是TWO TIMERS，也就是腳踏兩條船，中生代的美女老師徐薇提供我們最時髦的用語PLAYER，而蔡依林的屬於台式英文，偏向中文直接翻譯，THE THIRD PERSON 簡單明瞭。三種說法其實都沒錯，就看你愛用哪一種。”

評論：徐薇是我的學妹，照理講不應該打臉，但是為了宣導正確的英文，只好大義滅親啦。

─ 蔡女直接把「劈腿」翻譯成 have/has the third person，這是絕對錯誤的。徐薇用句子 There is a third person in our relationship. 是偷吃步的緩頰招數，因為她只保留了名詞 third person，那個致命的動詞 have/has 卻偷偷略去，跟蔡女的用法已經完全不一樣，所以看起來好像合理了。其實 There is a third person in our relationship. 也是台式英文。

─ 徐薇所說的 He is a player.（此人很花。）跟描寫「劈腿」行為根本沒有直接關係，這是「顧左右而言他」的模糊焦點手法。

─ 新聞最後說「三種說法其實都沒錯」，這可大錯特錯。蔡女的說法「絕對錯」，徐薇的說法「不搭軋」，只有陳老先生的說法對了，但用上複數 two timers 也是不可以的，我相信這是記者自己亂加的。

─ 網頁內英文的拼字錯誤、大小寫錯亂、單複數不分，反映 TVBS 網頁編輯的英文水準。