綜合測驗
S1：Aesop, the Greek writer of fables, was sitting by the roadside one day when a traveler asked him what sort of people lived in Athens.
評析：在敘事技巧上，一開始就端出伊索的名字相當「破梗」，我把伊索從第一句移除，放在第二句。順便把sort改成kind，因為在Google上 “kind of people” 的筆數比 “sort of people” 多六倍。：
A traveler to Athens was asking a man sitting by the roadside about what kind of people lived in that city.
S2：Aesop replied, “Tell me where you come from and what sort of people live there, and I’ll tell you what sort of people you’ll find in Athens.”
評析：
把Aesop放進第二句後如下：
The man, who happened to be the famous fable writer Aesop, replied, “Tell me…find in Athens.”
S3：Smiling, (16) the man answered, “I come from Argos, and there the people are all friendly, generous, and warm-hearted. I love them.”
評析：
很多人都以為分詞構句是一種公式：任何有兩個動詞的句子，都可以將其中之一分詞化。NO! 分詞構句有情境上的限制，不能任意使用（這有點複雜，以後有機會專章解釋）。我把它改回正常用法。其他調整包括：there與the people對調，因為這裡的重點是people而不是there，不應該把there放前面。另外all是贅字，無資訊或美學功能，故刪除。修改後成為：
The man smiled and answered, “I come from Argos, and the people there are friendly, generous and warm-hearted.”
S4：At (17) this, Aesop answered, “I’m happy to tell you, my dear friend, that you’ll find the people of Athens much the same.”
評析： “At this” 語意不清而且純然是廢話，應刪除，成為比較清爽的句子：
“I’m happy to tell you, my friend,” answered Aesop, “that you’ll find people of Athens pretty much the same.”
*我在much前面加了個pretty，沒別的原因，就是覺得比較順口。
S5-6：A few hours later, another (18) traveler came down the road. He too stopped and asked Aesop the same question.
評析：沒問題。
S7：Again (19), Aesop made the same request.
評析：這裡again與same描寫的是同一件事（made the request），因此應刪除贅字again。此外request是請對方「為你做一些事」，而不只是單純的「問問題」，所以不宜使用於此處。修改後成為：
Aesop’s reply was the same as what he gave to the first traveler.
S8-9：But frowning, the man answered, “I’m from Argos and there the people are unfriendly, mean (20) and vicious. They’re thieves and murderers, all of them.”
評析：
──夜路走多了總會遇到鬼，這裡的分詞構句but frowning就有語意與文法上的雙重錯誤。首先，我們知道but用在敘述前後對立的情況。請問路人乙的敘述跟誰對立？路人甲！但路人甲的回答在S3，而路人乙已經在S9了。兩者距離這麼遠，讓but全然失去「連接詞」功能。失能的連接詞就應該刪除。第二點，分詞構句若保留連接詞，那連接詞應是處理句子內兩個動詞關係的，也就是說，作者的 But frowning, the man answered 就英文角度來解讀，語意其實是：The man answered but frowned…這樣使用but顯然不是作者的原意。
──mean與vicious語意接近，其中之一成為贅字。
──all of them為名詞片語，不可單獨存在於逗點之後（我們不會說：I need something to wear, a T-shirt.吧？）。逗點必須改成破折號，讓all of them成為補充說明用法。修改後成為：
The man frowned and answered, “I’m from Argos, and the people there are unfriendly and vicious. They’re thieves and murderers – all of them.”
S10：“Well, I’m afraid you’ll find the people of Athens much the same,” replied Aesop.
評析：沒問題。
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